Meditation from Evening Prayer 13th Feb 2022

“Here am I, send me”, the words escaped from burning lips as if of their own volition, yet  echoed my souls desire, my hearts sanctified ambition. How else could I reply, when there in that place I had seen what no man should ever see, face to face.

Or glimpsed, for I had seen but a glimmer of the glory which filled His temple on that day.  A mere brush of hem, a swathe of gown had touched my life, yet an infinity was sensed beyond those woven threads. It was as if entire  creation’s creatures crowded in, and seraphim, with thunderous song,  cacophony of sound, so great  it slammed me to the ground and shook the temple, resounding through the trembling stones and smiting  air with such power that it’s very essence turned to smoke to veil the King most high, the Holy one, from unworthy eyes.

Prostrate before the altar, I could barely raise my eyes, the knowledge of my sin was bearing in, my country’s evil debt to such as Him weighed heavy as if the very Temple’s stones laid on my back. My life was done, before his crown, my awesome King, the Holy One.

The creature came, wings pressing air with rhythmic beat, fanning coals to red-hot heat, which, with the swiftest grace, he plucked from altar fire with golden tongs. Surely now I would burn, and yet, with gentle touch, my lips were kissed, and heavenly fire coursed through my soul, and purified, then made me whole.

And then, amongst that awesome sound of fervent praise, I heard Him say “Whom shall I send”, a whisper, yet a deafening noise, as if all other sounds were silenced at His voice.

My gasp, my cry, my “Here am I”, such microcosmic faith’s desire, and yet, I knew, with new found fire and freed from sin, this was His desire from deep within.

Yet, my call would fall on stony ground as nations cried my newfound faith then seemed denied. My Lord, he told of how, with hardened hearts, people would turn from all I said. It was as if their faith were truly dead.

“Keep on”, He said, My Lord, the Holy One , his temple filled with flowing gown. “For you are called, and I am Lord, I am your hope, when all seems lost and nought remains, my steadfast love will rise again”.

“Whom shall I send, who will it be”

“Here am I Lord, send me”